Recent employment tribunal cases have highlighted the impact rejection sensitivity can have on people with ADHD at work, and why employers need to understand how criticism and perceived rejection can affect neurodivergent staff.
Rejection sensitivity, sometimes called rejection sensitivity dysphoria or RSD, is the term used to describe an intense emotional response to criticism, rejection or the feeling that someone is disappointed or unhappy with you. It is not a separate clinical diagnosis, but many people with ADHD report experiencing it and it can have a major impact on confidence and working life.
In one recent employment tribunal case, Ryan Toghill v Lidl Great Britain Ltd, the tribunal heard that Mr Toghill, who had ADHD, experienced rejection sensitivity, described in the judgment as an intense sensitivity to the impression of being rejected, harassed or criticised. The tribunal found that Lidl had unfairly dismissed Mr Toghill and had failed to make reasonable adjustments in parts of its disciplinary process.
In another case, Ms Sophie Stone v MA Business Ltd, the tribunal heard that Ms Stone was dyslexic and neurodivergent and experienced rejection sensitivity dysphoria. During a discussion about workplace adjustments, her manager made a comment to the effect that she should “get back in her box”. Although the tribunal accepted that the manager had not meant to cause offence, it found the remark amounted to harassment related to disability. The judgment specifically referred to Ms Stone’s rejection sensitivity and said the comment was “understandably triggering” for her. She was later awarded £12,000, including £10,000 for injury to feelings.
Rejection sensitivity can be particularly difficult in the workplace because a comment a manager may see as fairly routine can have a much bigger impact on someone with ADHD.
Dr Mukesh Kripalani of the ADHD Centre says: “For some people with ADHD, criticism or perceived rejection can feel overwhelming. A comment or conversation which might seem quite minor to someone else can trigger anxiety, shame or hours of overthinking. It doesn’t mean that people with ADHD cannot be criticised or given feedback. Of course they can. But managers need to understand that the way feedback is given can make a real difference.”
The issue for employers is that rejection sensitivity does not always look the same. Some people may become upset or defensive when criticised, while others withdraw or replay a conversation repeatedly afterwards. Others react or behave differently and RSD can be harder to spot.
For example, someone who is terrified of letting people down may become a perfectionist, work far longer hours than they need to, constantly seek reassurance or become a people pleaser because they are trying to avoid criticism.
Others may stop putting forward ideas or asking questions because they are worried about getting something wrong.
Dr Kripalani said: “People sometimes think rejection sensitivity means somebody is simply overreacting or being too emotional, but that is not necessarily what it looks like”
“It may be that the employee who seems incredibly conscientious, helpful and accommodating, but is constantly worrying underneath that they have done something wrong or that their manager is unhappy with them.”
Dr Kripalani says that managers can make relatively simple changes, such as giving difficult feedback privately, being clear and specific rather than vague, avoiding sarcastic or humiliating language and giving someone time to process a conversation. “Employers should also talk to neurodivergent staff about what helps them and what reasonable adjustments might be useful, including during disciplinary or performance-management processes,” Dr Kripalani adds.
